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You Can't Build a Team or Organization
Different from You
by: Jim Clemmer
"The management of self is critical. Without it, leaders may do more harm than
good. Like incompetent physicians, incompetent managers make people sicker and
less vital." — Warren Bennis and Burt Nanus, Leaders (in a chapter entitled
"Leading Others, Managing Yourself")
Too many managers who aspire to lead and develop others haven't learned how to
lead and develop themselves. They are trying to build organizations or provide
services that are different than they are. These well-intentioned managers are
trying to improve their teams or organizations without improving themselves.
Many seem to be living along the lines of Mark Twain's observation, "Nothing so
needs reforming as other people's habits."
Here are some examples of these all too common disconnects between organization
and personal performance:
• Pessimistic managers push their companies to be market and industry leaders
while blaming external factors like the economy for their poor performance.
• Managers with stunted personal growth set strategies to build a "Learning
Organization."
• Managers produce team and organization vision, values, and mission statements
without having clarified and aligned their own personal preferred future,
principles, and purpose.
• A major program to improve customer service is initiated by managers who boss,
direct, and control rather than serve their organization's servers.
• Managers with weak levels of continuous personal improvement implement change
and improvement programs — for others.
• Strict Technomanagers (bureaucratic or technical experts) oversee rigid
systems and processes while trying to encourage risk taking and innovation.
• Management groups comprised of turf protecting departmental managers, fighting
like three kids in the back seat on a long hot drive, try to get others to build
stronger teams.
• Disorganized managers with poor time management habits are setting goals,
priorities, and disciplined processes for everyone else.
• Although they have no personal improvement plan, process, or habits, managers
develop extensive organization transformation and improvement plans.
• While avoiding (and shooting messengers of) personal feedback, managers
construct extensive performance appraisal systems and talk about the importance
of accountability — for everyone else.
A Team or Organization Can't Rise Above the Level of Its Leadership
"Organizational change begins with leaders who walk the talk by transforming
themselves." — Stratford Sherman, "Leaders Learn to Heed the Voice Within",
Fortune
It just doesn't work. We can't build a team or organization that's different
from us. We can't make them into something we're not. But I've watched countless
managers and management teams try. There are two major reasons that this
disconnected approach doesn't work. First, unless you're a superb actor, you
can't be a split personality and teach or lead others to do something that's out
of basic alignment with your own habits, skills, and characteristics.
Second, everyone's "phoniness radar" or "BS meters" are getting ever more
sensitive (from overuse). We're getting fed up with sanctimonious church leaders
charged with sexual abuse, fat doctors telling us to get into shape, politicians
giving retractable promises to get elected, executives drawing big salaries and
bonuses while their company's financial value declines, municipal transit
managers who don't take their own buses to work, training and consulting
companies who don't practice what they teach, and the like.
I once wrote a scathing note (which was never answered) and quit a speakers'
association because I kept hearing "the old pros" telling people who wanted to
get on speaking platforms and tell others how to be successful to "fake 'til you
make it." (The personal and organization improvement field has its share of
aspiring speakers and consultants who don't practice what they preach). One of
those speakers also asked me to provide a jacket quote endorsement for a
"motivational book" he bragged he'd written "on a six hour airplane flight." And
that's about how much research and thought the warmed-over platitudes, old
jokes, and generalities he'd pieced together obviously had. I declined his
invitation.
We loathe phoniness and crave genuineness in our leaders. If I aspire to be a
leader, the authenticity (being the real thing) that stems from aligning who I
am with where I am trying to take my team or organization will inspire trust,
cooperation, and forgiveness in the people who'll help take me there. Nobody
expects us to be the perfect role model. But they do expect to see a close
connection between who we are and the direction we're pointing the team or
organization toward.
Or they at least need to see that we recognize our shortcomings and we are
working hard to improve ourselves so we can close the organization-personal
performance gap. Otherwise they'll shrug off all our team and organization
improvement rhetoric and planning with a sense that this is just Kidney Stone
Management — it will hurt for awhile, but this too shall pass. "Watch out,
he/she has been off to another seminar (or read another book). If we lay low
long enough, he/she will move on to the next fad".
Successful team or organization leadership begins with successful
self-leadership. The first step in improving my team or organization is
improving me.
About The Author
Jim Clemmer is a bestselling author and internationally acclaimed keynote
speaker, workshop/retreat leader, and management team developer on leadership,
change, customer focus, culture, teams, and personal growth. During the last 25
years he has delivered over two thousand customized keynote presentations,
workshops, and retreats. Jim's five international bestselling books include The
VIP Strategy, Firing on All Cylinders, Pathways to Performance, Growing the
Distance, and The Leader's Digest. His web site is
http://www.clemmer.net/articles
Eliminating Mental Clutter...The Key To
Better Productivity AND Peace Of Mind
by: Kerry Flinders
I am a very busy gal. I have a successful marriage. I have two active young teen
age boys. I run a successful business (both on and off of the internet). My home
is always presentable. My laundry is always done. And I strive to live a stress
free life as well.
I have been called a “super woman” by my friends. They do not understand how I
can accomplish so much, and yet always seem to be so relaxed and happy. They
want to know my secrets.
My secrets?? I have but one…and it really is as simple as eliminating my "mental
clutter".
”Mental Clutter”? What is that? How do you eliminate it?
Here’s how I manage to accomplish my goals, keep my family happy AND maintain a
happy stress free attitude:
1. I use lists...lists...lists...lists. I can NOT function at any capacity
without my lists. I have a list of LONG term goals (when I want to retire, how I
expect to get there, etc). I have a list of MEDIUM term goals (what room I want
to paint in the future, what I want to teach my kids before they move out etc).
I also have a Weekly list and a Daily list.
Yes, lists take time, but after I took the time to make the longer lists then it
really is no work at all to sit at my desk in the morning and jot down the
things I need to do today and this week.
Having lists keeps this "stuff" out of my head. If I ever wonder what I need to
be doing it's written down somewhere for me to look at. I never have to think
about what is next to do...ever.
2. Remember that Stress is a State of Mind. It isn't real. We make it up. I know
people with 10 times my work load who are way less stressed than me. I also know
people with hardly anything to do each day but seem to be about to pop a blood
vessel.
I just remember that when I am feeling stressed I'm doing it to myself; no one
is forcing me to feel stressed. Nothing can make you feel stressed but yourself.
So, simply, I just refuse to feel stressed in my head. I do not mull over my
lists, or my obligations, or the dirty dishes, or anything.
3. Learn to say NO. This was one of the things that took me the longest to
learn, yet has given me the best release of mental clutter.
I say no to family get-togethers if they seem more of a hassle than fun. I say
no to church obligations that I really do not have time for. I say no to my
kid’s schools when they ask for help I do not have time to give.
When you are always saying yes it is more than just filling up your schedule
with other peoples needs. You are also filling up your mind with all the things
that go with the project, as well as all the mental "self talk" you have about
the project...for example, "Why did I say yes?? I don't have time for this. When
am I going to get this done?” etc etc etc.
So, be brave and learn to say no. It's that simple. And it really helps clear a
lot of mental clutter.
4. Self Talk. Since we've mentioned self talk above lets discuss it further. If
you are like I used to be (OK, how I really am, but control now) you have
conversations going on in your head with yourself ALL DAY long. You might even
wake up in the middle of the night talking to yourself inside your head.
Shush yourself right now. You need to learn to quiet your mind. If you have all
your obligations written down on lists then there really isn't any need to self
talk.
I had to take some meditation classes to quiet my self talk. It still tries to
pipe up every day, but I have the meditation skills to quiet it quickly now.
This eliminates tons of mental clutter. If you find that you MUST talk to
yourself inside your head, then whenever you find yourself doing so, choose ONE
sentence, one positive, powerful sentence to say over and over and over. A lot
of times the sentence I choose is this: "I am calm and happy."
5. Put things into perspective/stop worrying. Many times your brain is busy
working on many different things it doesn't need to be working on.
Having lists will free up a lot of time in your mind. What about the things you
just can't get out of your head? Business worries (I have these all the time).
Children worries. etc. Put them in perspective.
How important are they...really? You're worried about what will happen to your
kids if you died...so write a will, set up power of attorney, pick out your
replacements, know you've done everything you can to prepare for it, then refuse
to think about it any longer.
If you were to die tomorrow...I use this idea a lot. If you were to die
tomorrow, then what things in your head, that are driving you nuts right now,
would really matter?
I just read today about a study that measured what percent of our worrying was
really important. After the huge percentage of worrying about things we cannot
change, things that will never happen, things we have no power over...the
astonishing small amount of things we worry over, that really should be worried
over is...8%.
So if you are having a lot of mental clutter due to worry, put everything into
perspective and realize you should only worry over about 8% of the stuff you are
currently worrying over.
6. Be like the child. Ever watch a 3 year old play? Not much on their mind. Just
what is at hand. They don't remember the mess in their room at home (You do).
They don't think about what they will be eating for dinner (You are). They don't
even worry about the fight they got into yesterday with their best friend (You
would). They just focus on the task at hand, happy to do so.
Practice this "way" children have. Practicing letting your thoughts
go...focusing only on what is before you.
7. Yoga. Ok, a lot of people do NOT want to hear this, but yoga is WONDERFUL on
so many levels...especially helping you to eliminate mental clutter. One of the
practices that makes yoga yoga is the fact that it teaches you over time to stop
thinking about anything but the yoga pose you are in. Over time you become VERY
good at this. It helps in all areas of my life to focus and eliminate mental
clutter.
I actually highly recommend a regular yoga practice, even if it's only in the
comfort of your own home with some video tapes. Eliminating mental clutter is
just ONE of the great benefits I get from yoga...but such an important one.
So, those are my thoughts on mental clutter and what to do with it. I don't like
it, I don't allow it to be in my head, and I actually actively work to eliminate
it whenever it rears its ugly head.
Having this philosophy, and working towards keeping mental clutter out helps me
to be very stress free. It is very liberating and it also helps me to be a
happier mother, wife and person in general.
Achieving an uncluttered mind helps me to do better with my business and to be
better with my patience as well.
Mull over the ideas here. Maybe read a book or two on the topic as well. You
should strive to learn to control your own mind. Don't let it just wonder around
willy nilly (I love that expression). Learn to control it, clean it out, like a
room, dust it out...keep it tidy and bright.
You will feel so much better when you can do this.
Just remember, this takes time. For me, the transition from stressed out woman
to stress free woman took me a year and a half.
But it was so worth it. I promise.
Copyright 2005 Kerry Flinders
About The Author
The author Kerry Flinders is the owner of Personal Organizing Solutions located
in Southern California. Kerry and her company are dedicated to helping others
organize their clutter and their lives, eliminating unnecessary stress and
helping the client to find more time in their day for the things they love.
Kerry is the author of the book “Organizing With NO Budget”. You can find out
more about Kerry and Personal Organizing Solutions by visiting their website at
http://personalorganizingsolutions.com
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