Dating - Articles Index:
Long Distance
Romance -- Keeping the Love Alive
(ARA) - You’ve heard the saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
Or is it more accurate to say “out of sight, out of mind?” Either way,
up to a million Americans are working to keep the romance alive as they
spend days, weeks and even months apart. This includes everything from
writing letters and e-mail to spending hundreds of dollars a month on long
distance phone calls or plane tickets.
According to the Love From Afar survey
conducted by voiceglo, a company that offers phone services over the Internet,
long distance relationships are more common than you may think. Sixty-two
percent of respondents have had a love affair of at least 50 miles, with
almost half (42 percent) having had a romantic relationship with at least
250 miles between them and their sweetie. But long distance love isn’t
cheap -- 35 percent spent $100 or more on phone calls to keep their love
alive. Despite these challenges, many of those surveyed believed that long
distance love is not hopeless, in fact, 67 percent think that these relationships
can work.
While conventional wisdom decrees
that long distance relationships can’t last, the truth is that long distance
is no more likely to cause a break up than staying local. At the same time,
long distance relationships do take more energy and create more stress
and depression for many couples.
The reasons for long distance relationships
are most often college, and secondly, military service. Surprisingly, U.S.
Census data shows there are about 2.5 to 3 million long distance marriages
in the United States. Counting long distance couples who are not married
is much more difficult.
"We know a great deal about college
students and their dating patterns," explains Dr. Greg Guldner, author
of “Long Distance Relationships, The Complete Guide,” and director of The
Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships. "Roughly one in four
of the 17 million students consider themselves in a long distance relationship."
That translates to an additional 4.4 million separated lovers.
Leslie Karsner, the author of “The
Long Distance Romance Guide,” and Dr. Guldner feel that long distance love
offers benefits such as improved communication, not taking each other for
granted and increased independence and individuality. However, they both
offer tips to help couples keep the relationship strong, even across hundreds
of miles:
1. Ensure clear and frequent communication.
It’s important to keep touching base and tickling fancies with gifts and
chat. When you can’t rely on seeing facial gestures and body language,
you must communicate more effectively.
2. Stay optimistic. Long distance
relationships can and do work.
3. Have a support system. Surround
yourself with friends and family who are willing to listen and support
you in your extra efforts.
4. Have a life of your own. Don’t
just keep busy, really accomplish things that matter to you. Don’t spend
your time pining -- stay active with physical and social diversions.
5. Avoid avoidance. Agree to talk
about tough issues during your next visit.
6. Don't expect perfection. Couples
in long distance relationships sometimes measure the success of their relationship
by the perceived quality of the most recent time spent together. If the
weekend was a disappointment then the relationship is in trouble. Simply
realizing that there will be some disappointing times together -- and that
this is normal -- will help with those less than glorious weekends.
7. Find less expensive alternatives
to stay in touch. E-mail and letters are great ways to keep the flame alive.
Newer technology, such as phone calls over the Internet, also provides
low cost ways to hear that special someone’s voice.
Although it may be hard at times,
it’s often worth holding on to those long distance relationships. Just
remember to be creative and keep the lines of communication open!
For more information, visit www.voiceglo.com.
Courtesy of ARA Content
First Date Tips
By Jennifer Klein, Dateable.com
Dating can be tough and first
dates can be painful. So what are you to do? Here is a list of dating tips
to start the year out right!
· Meet your date out
and drive yourself. If you want to bail out early, you won't be trapped.
Also, when you have your own car. If things work out, you won't have any
worries about inviting your date in or not. This helps protect you from
your own impulses, because what's worse then "will he respect me in the
morning?" is "How much will I hate myself when I wake up?". Also when you
have your own car, no need to worry about safety, your date does not know
where you live. This protects you from a date turned bad turning in to
a stalking nightmare.
· Keep the date simple.
You're nervous enough without making a big show, plus you don't want to
lock yourself in to an evening you won't enjoy.
· Men, end the date first.
You will make yourself stand out.
· Women, don't wear anything
low cut or short. It sounds like an old cliché but your first date
knows very little about the woman you are. He will take you at face value
and you don't want to give the wrong impression.
A friend of mine went out for
dinner on a blind date. She is a very conservative women, who really likes
to take her time in relationships. All of us who know her know this about
her. Her date didn't. She went out on the date wearing a sexy low cut cocktail
dress. They went to dinner, had a wonderful evening, and when he walked
her to her door, he pounced on her! She was of course surprised and upset,
but her date didn't know her, he just took her at face value.
· Wear clothing that
you are comfortable and confident in. First dates are uncomfortable enough
without a tight belt biting you around the waist.
· Men, be specific about
where you are going. This will make the date more comfortable, and will
prevent her from wearing a cocktail dress when you are taking her bowling.
· Ask about your date.
Each of us knows we are the most interesting subject :) But the most interesting
conversationalists are people who ask about others. Great light topics
are work, hobbies, sports, kids (if they have any). If you are really stuck
for topics to talk about, and questions to ask, on the Dateable.com site,
in our advice corner, under romance, single life, we have a great article
by Penelope Frohart author of "The Book of Fabulous Questions" called "What
do I talk about on a date?". She offers some great advice. http://dateable.com/advicecorner/
· Easy on the perfume.
You want to knock his socks off, but you don't want to knock him out!
· Don't forget to use
mouthwash before you go out.
· Don't order sloppy
food. If you are not paying for what you order, try to stay in the middle
of the menu.
· Keep the conversation
light! Don't talk or ask about old boyfriends, girlfriends, or ex-spouse.
This is a first date, not a therapy session.
· Find out about your
dates eating habits before you plan the evening. Make sure you choose a
place where they will be able to find something to eat.
· Be attentive! There
is nothing worse then a date peering over your shoulder making you feel
as if they are looking for something better.
· If you are not paying
be considerate of what you order. Try to stay in the middle of the menu.
· And last, but not least,
have fun and be yourself!
© Dateable.com LLC 2000
Dateable.com is an exciting
online community for singles, couples and romance lovers. Dateable.com
has romantic resources, advice, poetry, greeting cards, and more. Dateable.com
also features specialty matchmaking services. Whether you are looking for
a soulmate or a playmate, visit http://dateable.com
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* Step-by-step guide to placing
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Happily
Ever After: What Makes Relationships Work By Edel Jarboe
A popular conclusion to fairy tales
is the phrase "And they
lived happily ever after." But does
happily ever after really
exist? Let's get the stars out of
our eyes. If you are lucky
enough to have found someone to
love and who loves you back,
you should know that this thing
called love is a lot of work.
We all have a tendency to take things
for granted and to fall
back into old habits and love is
no exception. We have all
stumbled across the following "secrets"
to a long-lasting
relationship at one time or another,
but it is important to be
reminded of them just the same.
Are you using the following
principles in your relationship?
1. Having Mutual Trust And Respect
For Each Other
Be each other's best friend. Be
there for each other and treat
each other with kindness, consideration,
and respect. Be
willing to apologize if you have
hurt one another in some way.
Let each other know how important
you are to each other
2. Making Sure You Share Common Values
Are you playing on the same team?
Do you and your mate want the
same things out of life? Are you
in agreement on how to go
about getting these things? Talk
to each other about your hopes
and dreams. Share your worries and
fears. Work together to
overcome obstacles.
3. Practicing Give and Take
Avoid resentment and power struggles
in your relationship by
being open and honest with each
other about your respective
needs and wishes. Practice the fine
art of compromise.
4. Working Together as a Team
A successful relationship is egalitarian-
where no one partner
is better than the other, there
are no control issues, etc.
Rather, an equal partnership is
where you recognize each
other's strengths and weaknesses
and work together as a team.
It is the acceptance of each other
for who you are, as you are.
5. Being Playful And Having Fun Together
Shared interests and hobbies such
as travel, gardening, or
hiking alleviate boredom and is
the glue that holds a
relationship together. Even folding
the laundry together can be
fun - it's all in your attitude.
6. Laughing Together Often
Laughter is a great coping strategy
when things get tough
because it relieves tension. Your
ability to laugh together as
a couple allows you to bond over
shared experiences - both good
and bad. It also reinforces your
enjoyment of each other.
7. Communicating Openly
If the sharing of household chores
or child-rearing is a source
of resentment, for example, sit
down and work it out. Make a
list of the chores and responsibilities
and negotiate a fair
division of the things you each
like to do and the not so great
chores between the two of you. If
you can afford it, consider
hiring people to help you.
8. Listening Until You Hear Each
Other
Avoid blanket accusations and focus
on communicating how your
partner's behavior makes you feel.
Instead of saying "You
always," say "I feel." This ensures
that your message will be
heard and keeps the lines of communication
open. Your mutual
goal should be to understand each
other.
9. Fighting Fair
Avoid needlessly hurting your mate
with put-downs and other
spur-of-the-moment zingers. Treat
your mate as your friend
first, your lover second. Just because
you are in a
relationship doesn't give you the
right to destroy another
person's self-esteem.
10. Keeping Romance Alive By Openly
Expressing Your Love And
Affection
Tell your mate that you love them.
Give them a hug for
absolutely no reason. Kiss them
like you mean it - often.
Surprise each other with little
gifts, weekend getaways, or
love notes in unexpected places.
11. Making Time For The Relationship
Spend at least 20 minutes together
a day just talking with each
other. Make time for sex as well.
Not in the mood? Too tired?
Putting the energy into this aspect
of your relationship will
pay dividends in the other aspects
of your relationship. Make
reaffirming your connection with
each other a priority in your
lives. If you need more time together,
turn off the television,
computer, or pager and let the answering
machine do its job.
12. All Of The Above
And they lived happily ever after
by being committed to making
the relationship work. In the absence
of fairy godmothers or
any other magic, it is up to you
and your mate to use the above
principles to create your own fairy
tale romance.
Copyright © 2001 by Edel Jarboe.
All Rights Reserved.
----------------------------------------------------------------
About the Author: Edel Jarboe is
the founder of Self Help for
Her.com (http://www.selfhelpforher.com),
an online self-help
magazine helping you create your
better life. She also
publishes a free weekly newsletter,
which features advice on
goal setting, stress management,
coping with difficult people,
and overcoming obstacles: Subscribe
(mailto:subscribe@selfhelpforher.com)
and receive a FREE stress
report.
KISSING CONNECTIVITY:
KEEPING YOUR RELATIONSHIP HOT
By Edel Jarboe
A kiss can mean so much, or nothing
at all. Remember when you
were five years old and you thought
kissing was yucky? It
wasn't until adolescence that the
meaning of a kiss was slowly
revealed to us. Between giggles
we confessed our first kisses,
our secret initiation into the "adult"
world. No one talks
about kisses anymore. Oh, we read
about them in romance novels
or see them on the big screen, but
no one discusses them in
hushed whispers between blushes
and giggles. We are adults.
Kissing is commonplace for us now.
Most of us kiss our partners
without thinking at least once a
day. But shouldn't a kiss
always be special?
What is a Kiss?
A kiss is more than the sharing
of lips and breath. It is a
mingling of hearts and souls. A
slight tingle, a funny feeling
in the tummy, a racing heart, is
to be expected. A kiss is an
intimate connection to another human
being and a simple way to
express love and affection. It is
also a way for us to confirm
that our partner is "the one" and
traditionally, the marriage
vow is sealed with a kiss as well.
What better way to seal the
promise of love?
The First Kiss
The anticipated first kiss is one
that we both long for and
dream about. And, whether remembered
as sweet and tender, shy
and hesitant, or as bumped heads
and noses, we don't forget it.
A kiss is a thing of wonder. We
wonder if and when the object
of our affections will bestow us
with a kiss. We wonder if our
knees will get weak, our pulse will
race, or if it will be a
dud. So much depends on a kiss.
We analyze every detail of our interaction
with the opposite
sex with the precision of a scientist.
He smiled at you when
you walked by. Does he like you?
You went to see a movie with
subtitles and he seemed to like
it. Does he really like foreign
movies or is he only trying to please
you? Will he call you
again? You go out on your second
date. And then, somehow, you
kiss. Your heart soars. He likes
you! Could this be love?
According to Leslie Parrott, Ed.D,
co-director of the Center
for Relationship Development (http://www.realrelationships.com)
at Seattle Pacific University and
author of "Relationships:
Making Bad Relationships Better
and Good Relationships Great",
women do read more into kissing
than men. "It can make them
feel attractive, cared for, and
even boost their self-esteem.
Women unconsciously use kissing
as a barometer for how much
they're respected, valued, and loved,"
says Dr. Parrott.
The Passionate Kiss
You can't wait to feel and touch
each other. Your mouths and
hands are busy, your hearts are
pounding, and you can literally
see sparks fly. Passion is a wonderful
thing. It makes us feel
more alive, more connected to our
partner. But, realistically,
one cannot expect passion in every
kiss. Kisses can range from
slow, sweet ones to urgent, fiery
ones. Moreover, it us
unrealistic to expect passion every
single day of our lives.
How many times in books, the movies,
and in real life has it
been proven that a relationship
built on passion alone cannot
survive? Without a deep, emotional
connection between two
people, a lasting love cannot thrive.
And by lasting love, I
mean one that can withstand the
ups and downs of every day
life. Factors like compatibility,
similar values and goals,
mutual respect, trust, and friendship
should be weighed
alongside physical attraction. A
passion that feeds on itself
will eventually burn out.
Are you and your partner in a romantic
rut? Have your kisses
with your partner lost their zing
lately? Don't throw in the
towel just yet. As your relationship
continues to grow,
continue to grow the passion. If
you and your partner
concentrate on feeling an emotional
connection with each other,
you will make a passionate connection
as well. "For couples
who have been [together] for some
time, kissing isn't as
exciting as it was when you first
started dating," says Dr.
Leslie Parrott. "But you need to
continue to make kissing a
priority," she continues. "Passionate
kissing is great but one
of the goals of kissing is to stay
connected."
The Perfunctory Kiss
"Bye, Honey. Have a nice day," we
say with a quick peck on the
lips as we leave in the morning
to start our workday. It's part
of the routine. Just one more thing
to do on our way out the
door. Often, once the days of courtship
are over, couples tend
to fall into a routine, which is
anything but romantic.
A kiss can communicate so much. Love,
tenderness, passion, and
devotion, to name just a few.
It can also serves as a
barometer of a relationship.
"Because kissing is a part of the
daily interaction a couple shares.
It can send spontaneous and
frequent signs of affection and
love," Dr. Parrott states. In
the early stages, we kiss our partners
a lot because we need
the reassurance that a kiss can
bring. Once we are settled into
a relationship, we need less reassurance
because we feel more
secure in our partner's love. But,
as time goes on, there is
the danger that a couple will stop
expressing their love with
kisses. The kisses start to taper
off. You only kiss hello or
good bye or while making love. The
love that is between you,
while cherished, is not something
that you think about anymore.
It is just there. Sometimes spoken,
sometimes not.
No one likes to be taken for granted,
especially not your
partner, and your love shouldn't
be either. A kiss is such a
simple way to keep the love you
and your partner share alive.
Notice that I said share. Both you
and your partner owe it to
each other to work at keeping the
love and passion alive. Yes,
love requires work too. Anything
worth doing or worth having
does. However, Dr. Parrott
also advises "while it's great when
you and your partner are on the
same passion scale, there will
be times when one partner will go
through a quieter time
sexually. Don't take it personally
or withdraw. Stay connected
by talking and touching and giving
them space."
Kissing 101
1. Remember how special you and
your partner are together.
2. Be creative. Kiss your partner's
forehead, eyelids, cheeks,
nose and chin, before kissing your
partner on the mouth.
3. If you don't like your partner's
kissing style, tell them
gently how you would like to be
kissed. Better yet, show them.
4. Gently caress your partner's
hands, neck, or back as you
kiss. Make it more than a mere meeting
of the lips.
5. If you don't have time for a
"real kiss", make a verbal
promise of "Later." You and your
partner will have something to
look forward to and you will have
put the magic of anticipation
back into your relationship.
Other Daily Steps to Intimacy:
1. Really listen to each other.
2. Be there for each other.
3. Touch each other.
4. Go out on a "date" at least once
a month. Maybe even re-
create your first date.
5. Have a candlelight dinner.
6. Plan a special day together for
just the two of you.
Following are more passion tips provided
by Dr. Leslie Parrott:
1. Have a "How's your love life?"
conversation. Ask your
partner to rate their level of passion
and intimacy on a scale
of 1 to 10. The very act of having
the conversation increases
the level of satisfaction for both
of you.
2. Write a love letter to your mate.
Make it a little
unpredictable. Throw your partner
off guard by saying things
you don't normally say.
3. Agree to take turns initiating
affection so it doesn't
always fall to the same partner.
4. Every once in a while, schedule
passion on your calendar in
advance. Focus on your "appointment"
in the hours preceding so
your passion and excitement has
time to really build.
Copyright © 1999 by Edel Jarboe.
All Rights Reserved.
------------------------------------------------------------
About the Author: Edel Jarboe is
the founder of Self Help for
Her.com (http://www.selfhelpforher.com),
an online self-help
magazine helping you create your
better life. She also
publishes a free weekly newsletter,
which features advice on
goal setting, stress management,
coping with difficult people,
and overcoming obstacles: Subscribe
(mailto:subscribe@selfhelpforher.com)
and receive a FREE stress
report.
Dating
Tips for Divorced and Widowed Moms by: Terry MacDonald
Dating is tough, but it’s tougher
for women who are divorced and widowed. Along with the fears of being “out
of practice,” there are often children’s feelings to consider.
How can a single mother enjoy a new
romance without lying awake at night worrying about doing emotional damage
to her children? Personal Strengths and Life Coach Sue Tosto of Garfield,
New Jersey provides the answers.
1. How soon after divorce or the
death of a husband is it appropriate to start dating?
It depends on the individual, but
anyone going through a divorce should wait at least six months to one year
before even considering dating someone new. Emotions are running high,
and a person needs time to heal before putting herself back on the market.
Some newly divorced or widowed people jump into relationships too early
because they’re afraid of being alone. That’s almost always a mistake.
The first year after a divorce is
the time to re-group and focus on making new friendships. A woman can reflect
on all the things she wanted to do when she was married but didn't. This
is a rough time emotionally, but it helps to view it as a fresh start.
It’s the perfect time to re-develop a sense of self and decide what one
really wants in life. A woman can consider what she hopes for in a new
relationship and let go of the past in the process.
Dating after the death of a husband
or partner is also not recommended for at least one full year. Two years
is even better. The grieving process should never be rushed, and the length
of time it takes for the bereaved to move on varies according to the individual.
Other matters to consider before
dating include waiting until estate matters have been handled, i.e., insurance
matters, review of the will, and the assignment of an executor or executrix
if necessary. The stress a new relationship can cause during this emotional
time is not recommended.
As with divorce, this is a time to
spend with friends. It also helps to join a support group of others who
have lost a loved one.
2. How long should the mother wait
before introducing a new boyfriend to her children?
She should know him at least six
months to a year. Otherwise, if she decides after dating him for 4 months
that the relationship is going nowhere, the children will inevitably feel
another loss. No child should be put through that after going through divorce
or death of a parent. Children need time to heal as well. If the new man
doesn’t respect that, he’s probably not great boyfriend material.
The first three months of a relationship
is the honeymoon period. Everything is fresh and exciting. After around
six months, the couple tends to relax and good behavior wears off. A woman
gets to see what she’s really dealing with. Before she introduces her new
beau to her children, she needs to find out what his goals are, to see
if his values and beliefs are consistent with hers, and really develop
a friendship with him.
3. What is the best way to introduce
a new boyfriend?
Once a woman decides to start dating,
she should explain it to each of her children in an age-appropriate manner.
After she and a new partner have spent six months to a year together, she
can start telling the children things about him, particularly what she
likes about him or little stories about places they’ve gone together. This
way the children understand that Mom is still Mom, which is critical, but
they’ll also see that she’s happier. They will slowly make the adjustment
that they may soon share her with somebody else. Inevitably, the children
will become curious about him. They may ask to meet him. I think it is
wise to slowly incorporate the new partner into the family.
4. How should she handle it if the
child resents the new relationship? Should she stop seeing the boyfriend?
Children will often resent a new
relationship for the simple reason that they now have to share their mother
with someone else. A woman can reassure her children that even though she
is going out, she is coming back home to them. She should continue do the
things with them she always did. Before she even starts dating, it might
help to hire a babysitter and use the afternoon to go shopping, just to
get the children accustomed to seeing her go out every once in a while.
Observing the children’s reactions
while the new man is around should provide some clues to other causes of
resentment. A woman should also gently ask her children why they don’t
like her new partner. She should remember, though, that some children may
not know exactly how to express why they dislike someone. It’s important
to tread carefully. A new relationship is stressful for the whole family.
If the children are really having
a hard time with it, family counseling can get to the root of the problem,
especially if all other avenues have been exhausted. The most important
thing a single parent can do is to treat her children the same way she
did before she met the new partner.
5. Is it ever acceptable to allow
the boyfriend to sleep over, or should the couple book a babysitter and
get a room?
Get a room, unless the kids are at
Dad's for the weekend. Children don't need to see some stranger coming
out of Mom's room in the morning (or their Dad’s, either). A new relationship
is exciting and the partners are certainly entitled to time alone, but
a single parent must handle it delicately and deliberately. Her (or his)
behavior will instruct the children about man/woman relationships in ways
they will carry around with them for the rest of their lives.
About The Author
Terry MacDonald is the author of
How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams (Even if You're Not Rich,
Thin, or Beatiful). Visit her website at www.marrysmart.com
terry@marrysmart.com
Courtesy of http://www.ArticleCity.com/
Dating
Tips for the Shy Woman by:
Terry MacDonald
Dating can be an absolute nightmare
for shy people. You want to meet the right person, but you’re too scared
to do anything about it.
Introductions—sticking out one’s
hand and looking another person in the eye—can be terrifying for the shy
woman. The brain locks up as you scramble to think of something relevant
to say. You fall apart as soon as you’re asked what you do for a living.
You stammer. The heat rises in your face and under your arms. You’re suddenly
incapable of forming a grammatical sentence. You think to yourself, “Why
would anyone care about me? I’m really not that interesting!”
Fear not. Many shy people have succeeded
in meeting new people and forming lasting, happy relationships. With a
little practice, you can too. Here are some tips for taming your social
terror.
1. Prepare a pitch. The question,
“So, Sally, what do you do for a living?” is bound to come up, so have
a ready answer. No need to brag about capturing the company Tidy Break
room Award; just state clearly what you do for a living and don’t apologize
for it!
2. Ask questions. People love to
talk about themselves (okay, except for people like you), so ask questions.
Come up with a list before you leave the house, i.e., How did you get into
that line of work? Where did you go to school? Have you seen the new Brad
Pitt movie? And so on.
3. When you fumble, turn the subject
to the other person. Whenever you find yourself longing to throw a blanket
over your head and crawl off, try saying something like “And what about
you?”
4. Listen to what the other person
is saying! This is important. Instead of fretting about what you’ll say
next, still the wheels of your mind and listen. If a man tells you about
his weekend on the golf course, and you know absolutely nothing about golf,
just ask him what he likes about it, how he got into it, etc.
5. Smile. People respond well to
people who smile. No need to grin like an idiot, but a disarming smile
will get ‘em every time. Smiling conveys friendliness and approachability.
Show teeth whenever possible. Avoid looking like a figure at a wax museum
by practicing in a mirror before you leave the house.
6. Breathe. Whenever you feel your
heart racing, breathe deeply and slowly. If you really start to feel uncomfortable
(your face has become so hot you could use it for a wok), excuse yourself
and go to the restroom.
7. Compliment the other person. Sincerity
is key, so find something you like and mention it. You may be freaked out
by the idea of complimenting a man on his soulful eyes, so mention his
watch, suit, tie, or even his shoes. No need to go overboard: “Nice shoes,”
will do it.
8. Stay on top of current events.
You don’t necessarily want to bring up your stand on Bush v. Kerry during
a first meeting, but be able to discuss less controversial issues intelligently.
9. Remember the weather! Some people
have the “gift of gab,” the ability to make strangers feel like they’ve
known them forever. They are fearless about talking about the weather,
gas prices, whatever. Shy people worry that talking about mundane things
will make them appear stupid. But seemingly dull subjects like the weather
affect everybody. People relate to them.
10. Hold your head up. It’s the simplest,
most effective way to look confident. Good posture, coupled with that fabulous
smile of yours, gives you a “winner’s vibe.” You’re guaranteed to be a
hit!
Be warned: These tips will not help
you if you don’t leave the house. It’s just too easy to watch a Friends
rerun for the umpteenth time instead of meeting people, but I promise you
that Prince Charming is never going to climb through your bedroom window.
Talking to strangers can be uncomfortable,
but with practice it will surely get easier. If you have a bad night, congratulate
yourself for making the effort. When you have a good night, understand
that you earned it. Know that countless wonderful nights are on their way
to you.
About The Author
Terry MacDonald is the author of
How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams (Even if You're Not Rich,
Thin, or Beatiful). Visit her website at www.marrysmart.com
terry@marrysmart.com
Courtesy of http://www.ArticleCity.com/
Whats
in a Kiss by: Bud Smith
Just think of being in front of a
warm cracking with you partner in your hands, with a kiss and a cuddle.
But have you ever thought about why people kiss? It could be a greeting
or a sign of affection, but we all kiss.
Origin of the kiss
The strangest theory on the history
of the kiss that I have heard finds its roots in the age of the cave man.
It is thought that in primitive times that a mother pre-chewed the food
for her baby and transferred it 'in a kiss'. Although this could never
be proved, it would explain why the kiss is a sign of affection, between
mother and child and latter, adults.
Another theory that I found was that
the kiss was reflected in the Ziller Valley of Central Europe, where the
exchange of pre-chewed tobacco between a male and a female was common.
The young man would let a tip of the piece of tobacco, or spruce resin,
etc rest between his closed teeth and invite the girl to grasp it with
her teeth -- which of course obliged her to press her mouth firmly on that
of the young man -- and pull it out. If a girl accepted the wad of pre-chewed
tobacco, it meant she returned the boy's love.
The third theory that I found was
from a religious or sacred origin. There have been examples from around
the world as early as 2000 BC, that show that people could have brought
their faces together to symbolise spiritual union. Even in the culture
of Indians, it was believed that the exhaled breath was part of the soul,
and by two people bringing their mouths together, showed the joining of
their souls. (Another variation on this believed that kissing evolved from
the smelling of a companion's face as an act of greeting. )
Kiss through history
Even without fully knowing where
the kiss came from, it is well known that the kiss has been with us for
a long time.
In the sixth century in France, dancing
was one way to display affection, but every dance was ended in a kiss.
Apparently, Russia was the first
to incorporate the kiss into the marriage ceremony, where a promise was
sealed with a kiss.
The Romans kissed to greet each other.
On Roman emperor showed a persons importance, by what part of his body
they were allowed to kiss, from the cheek to the foot.
In 16th century England, the clove-studded
apple originated. An apple was prepared by piercing it with as many cloves
as the fruit could hold and then a maid then carried the apple through
the fair till she spied a lad she thought worth kissing. She would offer
him the apple, and once he'd selected and chewed one of the cloves, they
would
share a kiss. After that, the apple passed into the man's possession, and
he would venture off in search of another lass to continue the game with.
At one stage it was even thought
that people found kissing pleasurable because when the two lips met during
kissing, an electric current was generated.
A kiss is a kiss
Now days, kisses range from small
pecks on the cheeks as a greeting, to an the use of the lips and tongue
as a sign of passion. It is that action that when two people embrace, causes
hormones are released into the blood stream, inducing a sense of euphoria
that you feed in the sweetness of your lovers mouth.
It's a kiss that brings every fibre
of your being alive, turns your stomach over, sends Goosebumps up your
spine. It's a kiss that forgives your misdemeanours and smiles at your
mistakes. Ingrid Bergman puts it together in that "a kiss is a lovely trick
designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous".
About The Author
Written by staff at infoweb.co.nz.
Infoweb is the place to go for information on musical instruments and creating
websites. Take a look at infowebs reprintable section (http://www.infoweb.co.nz/243.html).
You can reprint this article free on your site as long as the above credit
is not edited and the web addresses are work.
Courtesy of http://www.ArticleCity.com/
Internet
Dating – It’s Not For Geeks by: Sara Blackmore
Six months ago an old school friend
and I were chatting over coffee, putting the world to rights as women do.
She was bemoaning her lack of success in meeting the “right sort” of men.
I asked her if she had tried using an internet dating service, and the
look of horror that spread across her face gave the instant answer – of
course not! Internet dating, she informed me, was for the sad, desperate,
geeky or freaky.
Sadly this type of response is typical
of people from all walks of life. Why sadly? Because those who instantly
dismiss such services are missing out on a great opportunity.
The traditional argument for not
using the internet to meet someone is that it is not natural. So what is
natural? Where have people traditionally met their husbands, wives, lovers,
and friends? Statistically, over the past 50 years the most common place
for meeting ones spouse has been the workplace. This is hardly surprising
given the ever increasing amounts of time most people are finding themselves
working. Other common meeting places include bars, nightclubs, and parties,
and some lucky few meet their lifetime partner early in life at college
or university. However, the workplace remains number one for long term
relationships.
The reason for this is simple; lasting
long term relationships are usually born out of robust friendships, and
strong friendships form over time. Spend eight hours a day five days a
week with the same people and you will get to know them very well. It is
not uncommon in the modern world to spend more time with your colleagues
than with your family, an unfortunate but true fact of life.
The increasing amounts of time we
as a society are spending working is leaving less time to spend in social
environments outside of the office, which means less opportunity to meet
new people. So if you don’t meet someone at work, where else is there?
Enter the dating agency.
Dating agencies are not a new idea,
they have been around a very long time. The internet has simply served
as a new medium for bringing people together in a tried and tested way
that agencies have used for years. However, it offers some unique advantages
for those seeking a partner. Firstly it has lowered the cost of running
a dating service, and that means agency dating has been opened up to a
much wider audience. Secondly, it has broken down geographical barriers
in a way that off-line agencies could never hope to. This is an important
point because not everyone is looking for their future husband or wife
on their doorstep. Indeed not everyone is looking for a future husband
or wife; the explosion in internet dating has made it easier than ever
to find new friends and correspondents across the globe.
These two points mean that some of
the bigger agency sites now have in excess of three million members, and
literally thousands of new members joining every day. With that many people,
if you are serious about finding a partner, lover, or a friend, then the
internet is simply too big a resource to ignore. And ‘net dating is safe
too; there is no need to exchange real names or even email addresses until
you feel you know someone well enough. All the services allow you to block
unwanted communication and so there is no fear of being pestered. Used
sensibly, internet dating can be safer than almost any other way of meeting
people.
The internet has revolutionised the
way we work, shop, conduct our financial affairs, and entertain ourselves.
To use it as a medium for meeting new people is a logical step in our fast
changing world.
After that chat six months ago, I
convinced my friend to post a profile on a dating site, she didn’t even
have to pay anything to do so unless she wanted to start sending messages
to other members of the site. Now I never see her because she is spending
all of her time with her new man. She didn’t find him in five minutes like
some of the sales pitches would like you to believe, but then six months
ago she didn’t expect to find him at all.
About The Author
Sara Blackmoore is a relationship
counselor and regular contributor to The Dating WebReview. She lives in
London, England with her husband and two children. The Dating WebReview
provides independent reviews of internet dating services, as well as insightful
articles, tips, and advice. http://www.dating-webreview.com
Courtesy of http://www.ArticleCity.com/
Online
Dating - 8 Sizzling Tips To Make Your Profile Standout! by: Amanda
Lee
We know one of the hardest part of
creating your profile is describing yourself to others. Dating pearl.com
gives you the freedom to define & express yourself so you can put your
best foot forward. Following are some time tested nuggets that can assist
you in creating a compelling & attention grabbing profile.
Honesty is the Best Policy
As the saying goes, honesty is the
best policy. Honesty is taken seriously at Dating pearl.com and it's the
single most important thing to remember when writing a great profile. It's
much easier to write about yourself if you are honest about who you are.
It prevents you from having to spin ways to best sell yourself or guess
at what you think other people want to read.
A major part of being honest is not
misleading people down the road. People will assume that what you write
is true — and you don't want to set people up for a surprise later by stretching
the truth in your profile. For example, if you hate mountain climbing,
don't say you love it just to grab the eye of an outdoorsy type.
Give Some Thought Of What Sets You
Apart.
How are you different? What gives
you your unique character? If your friends were describing you, what would
be the three things they would all say about you? These are good questions
to ask yourself as you get ready to write your profile.
Put Your Negativity Aside
Often times, people start their ad
off with, “I’m sick of … !”, “ I’m tired of…!” or “ I hate Brunette…!”
etc. It’s advisable not to include this as the first thing that you want
to express in your profile ad. It just gives the impression of too many
unhealthy relationships in the past. Instead, try to be more positive &
upbeat in your profile. Soon enough you will notice a leap in the response
rate.
Stay Open & Be Conversational.
Leave formality at the door and write
your profile like you are talking to a good friend. Of course, there are
some things you might tell a good friend that you probably don't want to
include in your profile. It's a good idea to avoid mentioning past relationships
and exes, or discoursing on being lonely or desperate. Be optimistic!
Show How, Don't Tell.
The best profiles show, don't tell,
who you are at your best. If you are known for being funny, try explaining
how or why you are funny - such as, "I've been known to show up to a party
in a wig", instead of "I have a good sense of humor." Paint a picture in
their minds of the kind of person you are.
A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words
The importance of this point can’t
be emphasized more. Your smile, the background that you're photographed
in, what you're wearing; they all paint a picture of what you're truly
like. And including a recent photo will get you 800% the attention.
Updating Your Profile Often.
Keep your profile fresh. Every now
and then, go back to your profile and update it to let people know you're
still out there.
Go Through Your Spelling & Grammar.
Check your profile for typos and
spelling mistakes before you submit it. Show that you spent time thinking
about them while writing your profile. Always proofread your ad & run
it through a word processor, such as Microsoft Word so that you can have
your spelling & grammar checked.
From,
Amanda Lee
Love Editor,
www.datingpearl.com
About The Author
Love Editor of Datingpearl.com
For more information, please visit:
http://www.datingpearl.com
Online Dating Community with a new twist for Love, Friendship & Romance.
(c) Amanda Lee
Courtesy of http://www.ArticleCity.com/
Loving
Beautiful You - An article for Single Moms by: Teri Worten
In today’s world of the perfect size
and the perfect hair and high fashion, it can be difficult to accept yourself
and take pride in the beautifully unique creation you are. However, as
single moms, or even single women (or for even married women!), there may
not always be “someone” around you to remind you how lovely, talented,
beautiful and elegant you really are! So you have to do it yourself!
Realistically, legitimate self esteem
generates from within a person and has very little to do with the exterior
or “outside” world. That means that a woman could have a loving mate that
lavishes her with gifts and compliments and still have a low self image.
That's why we have to learn to esteem ourselves by cultivating a healthy
love for ourselves. There are several ways to embrace and love yourself,
one is to enjoy being alone. There are so many women who consistently need
people around them. They never learned the quiet confidence of just being
alone without being lonely. I’ve even stretched myself to enjoy an afternoon
movie with just me – not feeling alone, or that someone is “missing”- just
enjoying some time with myself.
Another way to enjoy you is to eliminate
the unconstructive self talk. For instance, when you make a mistake or
blunder, don’t come back with a self-defeating comment like:
“Stupid!”
“Dummy!”
“I can’t seem to do anything right!”
These statements deplete our self
image and they do it very gradually and subtly. Instead using self-defeating
language, be patient with yourself or as I heard a minister express, “be
gentle with yourself”. As a substitute for the negative self talk, reaffirm
that you are indeed human and remind yourself that you are improving every
day. The next time you make a error, try to say something like:
“That’s an ooops.” (then smile, mistakes
aren’t fatal!)
“Next time I’ll do that differently.”
“Look out folks, humanity shining
through.”
I have heard that the best way for
the brain to eliminate a thought or process is to replace the"wrong" thought
with a positive or preferred one. So, begin to retrain your thinking in
the direction of encouraging and optimistic viewpoints.
Likewise, begin to notice and be
intentionally aware of your beauty. As a replacement for of looking into
the mirror and noticing only the wrinkles under your eyes, think to yourself
how pretty your eyes are. Remind yourself you are “all that and a bag of
chips” and that any man would be blessed to be able to share a lifetime
with you! Tell yourself that until you believe it!
Remind yourself that you are God’s
unique, lovely daughter and that you have a dazzling future, with an awesome
destiny. Declare that nothing can hold you back or keep you from succeeding.
You’ve survived so much! You’ve made it this far in your journey a (In
the proper perspective, that's not pride.) You know, a weaker woman would
have caved under the pressure you’ve endured, but not beautiful, wonderful
you! You’re strong. You’re a survivor and you need to remind yourself often!
Again, self esteem is about self.
What you perceive yourself to be. If you think little of yourself, others
will too. Even worse, your children will begin to see your negative self
image and begin to manifest it in their own lives. You don’t want that.
So, go for it…you’re allowed to love
yourself as God loves you. And you know what else? You might even find
someone else that wants to love ya too!
About The Author
Teri Worten is a freelance writer
and the founder of several inspirational websites for women and single
moms. One is called Gotta Be Me, Girl.Com. You can access the site by following
the link: http://www.gottabemegirl.com.
Secondly, visit the Greater Kansas City Single Mom Network at
http://www.kcsinglemomnetwork.com.
tworten@gottabemegirl.com
Courtesy of
http://www.ArticleCity.com/
