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Five Ways to Make the Most of Your Journal
By Edel Jarboe

Over the years, my journal has become a private space that I 
can curl up in -- a place where I can speak honestly and not be 
judged, not even by myself. My journal is a place where I can 
speak the words I cannot bring myself to say out loud. It is a 
place where I can examine my wounds, and by writing about them, 
heal from within. Friends and family can be wonderfully 
supportive, but sometimes you have to turn to yourself and give 
yourself permission to feel whatever needs to be felt and to 
say everything that needs to be said. 

My journal has seen me through some tough times but I treasure 
it for another reason: it is an ongoing relationship with 
myself.

Through my journal I have told myself the truth about my hopes 
and dreams and about my fears and insecurities. My journal 
allows me to gain perspective on my life. It grounds me and 
gives me hope. My journal allows me to see that as I change, as 
my life changes, I am always me.

1. Use Your Journal To Make Sense Of A Painful Or Traumatic 
Experience
Write down your traumatic experience, and then write it down 
again. Capture not only the who, the what, the where, the when, 
and the why (if possible) but how it is making you feel as 
well. Keep writing about it until you can put the event in 
perspective. And once you can do this, once you understand what 
has happened to you, it becomes less painful. It loses its 
power to damage your emotional and physical well being. If you 
have a chronic or life-threatening illness, for example, a 
journal can be the perfect place for you to not only deal with 
your diagnosis but to discover your inner strength.

2. Use Your Journal To Take Control Of Your Life
Instead of worrying and worrying, turn to your journal. Several 
hours before bedtime, pick up your journal and draw a line down 
the center of the page. On the left side list what is 
distressing you and on the right side list the steps you can 
take to resolve the issue. For example, if you are having a 
hard time communicating with your spouse, you might come up 
with three positive things you can say or do the next time you 
two are headed for an argument.

3. Use Your Journal to Stay Focused and Motivated
Whether you are trying to reach a fitness goal, a weight loss 
goal, or are trying to save money, you can use your journal to 
log your progress. Simply record the relevant information on a 
daily basis. Not only will you be motivated to keep going but 
you will also have a record of your personal habits and 
patterns. This is useful information if you pursue a similar 
goal in the future. For example, if your goal is to save $100 a 
week, you can use your journal to keep track of your daily 
expenditures. You will also know that you are in the habit of 
splurging on new clothes when you feel down.

4. Use Your Journal to Practice Positive Thinking
Taking the time to list a few things you are grateful for every 
day helps you to keep your life in perspective. Being grateful 
for all the good things in your life helps you to ride out 
major life crises and to cope with stress. Finding and focusing 
on at least one positive thing in your life makes it hard to 
paint your whole world black. It makes it hard not to bask in a 
ray of hope.

5. Make Scribbling In Your Journal A Happy Habit
Pick a comfortable spot with minimal distractions and try to 
write for at least 15-20 minutes a day, depending on the 
subject. A log-type journal requires daily entries while major 
life issues are best dealt with if you write for a few days in 
a row. If you're really busy, you can get by with a 5-10 minute 
entry. I try to enjoy a cup of tea while I catch up with 
myself. Remember: This is your time.

Note: Please seek professional help if you are having trouble 
dealing with a traumatic life issue.

Copyright © 2001 by Edel Jarboe. All Rights Reserved.
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About the Author: Edel Jarboe is the founder of Self Help for 
Her.com (http://www.selfhelpforher.com), an online self-help 
magazine helping you create your  better life. She also 
publishes a free weekly newsletter, which features advice on 
goal setting, stress management, coping with difficult people, 
and overcoming obstacles: Subscribe 
(mailto:subscribe@selfhelpforher.com) and receive a FREE stress 
report.

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Life Writing, One Facet of Living an Enchanted Life
 by: Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein

I started life writing in the fifth grade. My mother bought me my own Girl Shout diary! Are you wondering what a Girl Shout diary is? It was a Girl Scout diary kept by me. I had a minor learning disability, undiagnosed in those days, resulting in funny spellings. Undaunted, I wrote to Dear Diary, sharing the best of I Love Lucy, visits with grandparents, and weekly meeting with the Girl Scouts. Then one day this dairy was put away. Junior High School, High School and college were years when

I took pen to hand on loose leaf papers. I kept details of my love life, shed many a secret tear and wrote some of my finest, darkest poetry. Adult life found me writing on fragments of papers. These scraps housed everything from cute expressions my children used to my less dark poetry.

When I decided as a psychologist to interview women who were not in my practice, then incorporate my findings into a book, I never dreamed how much my own life writings would play an essential part. I had interviewed women ages 35 through early 80's, looking at how messages they received growing up about themselves, influenced them as adults. I asked them when they felt most whole, most joyful. In analyzing my data, I had an "Aha" moment. I saw these women, no matter how dysfunctional their childhoods, and no matter how many negative messages they had received growing up, had managed to find pleasure and joy in their adult lives. This insight convinced me that we have not utilized the history taking of our lives to focus enough on what is giving us pleasure and joy. Also we haven't learned to harvest out past so as to discover precious moments even in the most dysfunctional of times. This included me.

In writing THE ENCHANTED SELF, A Positive Therapy, I began writing about my past and experiences again, but this time looking for precious treasure: the positive parts of myself and my life. In writing down my thoughts, feelings and memories, I discovered many wonderful memories growing up. I found myself remembering times where I felt delighted with life and full of energy. There were moments of elation and successes when my true and sometimes lost potential showed through. I discovered events that even though they had felt unpleasant as I lived them, held within them so many of special gifts. I began to hold and treasure these times as I wrote them down, feeling deeply moved on occasion, to the point of tears ...

Ultimately what the women taught me and the personal journey I then went on, has led to my writing to you. I hope this e-mail newsletter stimulates you to recognize the best in yourself, in your history, and in your potential. For you too, have a treasury inside.

Exercise: Journaling

This exercise involves making positive deposits in your memory banks. Over the next few days, stay alert to when you are in a good mood. Try to use all you senses to experience the present more fully, especially when you become aware of a potential 'deposit'. When the moment is right, ask yourself the following questions:

• What is going on?
• Does it remind you of other good times in your life?
• Can you list several of these earlier events?
• What were the best parts of these earlier experiences?

Take the time to describe them by writing them down or dictating them into a tape recorder. Now gradually refocus your mind on the present.

• What are you seeing?
• What are the aromas?
• What are the sounds?
• How do these sensations make you feel?

Try to be aware of the details, taking time to savor them as you deposit them into your memory bank. If writing or dictating a narrative does not come easily to you, try drawing a picture, writing a poem, or composing a tune. Just do something to capture the moment in a way that is meaningful to you. Your abilities as an artist, writer, or composer are less important than your desire to relish life.

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About The Author
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein , originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF®, a method of bringing delight and meaning into everyday living, invites you to view her new line of ENCHANTED WOMAN products, downloadable e-books, and free gifts at http://www.enchantedself.com. Chat with others in Dr. Holstein's e-group, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/encself/join, and sign up for her free e-group at www.enchantedself.com. Order her book, THE ENCHANTED SELF: A Positive Therapy, or the CD-rom or tape version and her book RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT: The Secret Ingredient is YOU!, or the ED-rom version, at http://www.enchantedself.com/ordering.htm
enchantedself@verizon.net
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